I don’t think I can ever truly forgive you for using my life in your game of Midlife Crisis. I don’t think I can remove the resentment deeply seeded in my heart for you. I understand Yahuah means for us to love and forgive… But you took away my life and left me in the pit of death selfishly.
Cancer hurts but at least it’s predictable. Your actions feel intentional and like they were meant to tear me down. Not even the last words you ever said to me included an apology for the brokenness I was experiencing as a direct result of your actions and cancer.
You didn’t care. And I’m not sure anymore you ever did. But I know for now I don’t forgive you for your tearing me down at my sickest just for building yourself back up. You tore apart me just to restore you. And I’m angry and unforgiving of someone as callously cruel as you.
You hurt me worse than cancer has been.