I love love love fall and I cannot wait for the next cold front. I’m waiting by the windows in my sweaters, my cardigans, my scarves and my hats.
These past few weeks have taught me a lot about being c o z y. What does that mean?
“Giving a feeling of comfort, warmth, and relaxation.” – definition from some website that I just googled for time’s sake. Coziness is something I aspire to these days. I’ve stopped chemotherapy, I’ve stopped my medical treatments and I’m taking a trust fall into Yah’s loving embrace. That’s difficult to wrap my head around these days… and I want to try to get cozy with it.
I try to seek comfort in this verse at all the times that I feel myself fading from the Light. I fear my death more and more each day and I am trying to get cozy with it… it’s NOT a death sentence. It’s a transition. A transition to a better Place, to a World of love and light. Where I can see my children once again and love on them. I am trying to get comfortable with the idea of a lot of things these days… and it’s exceedingly difficult keeping up with everything honestly.
So how do I get cozy? How do I find the path towards comfort and warmth? I started once again by praying every morning and night… something I found difficult to begin anew due to my recent falling away. But I am diligent in my thanksgiving prayers. I am hopeful for a path to the warmth of Yah’s graces. How do we find comfort in anything these days with everything feeling like it’s hopeless. Here are a few ways I’ve found some solace …
- Treating each day as a gift rather than a burden. I’ve fallen before into the trap of dreading waking up each day and hating the life that I was living before cancer struck me… and I made a change. Instead of dread I’ve woken up each day with thanks in my heart for another sunrise of possibilities.
- Trying to find new things to do, rather than laying around waiting for things to happen. Though I get tired so often and quickly these days I make it a goal to get comfortable doing ONE new thing a day no matter how small it seems to me. A new thing from the day before… like a new coffee creamer or a new phrase to say. Something NEW and able to shake up the ordinary. 🙂
- Finding joy in simple pleasures like coffee, sweaters, and home decor. I am guilty of loooooooooving Animal Crossing and enjoying the aspect of decorating small spaces. One of the new things I’ve started is digging up old things from storage to redecorate my living space in order to find fresh energy in my life. I created a “selfie self-care corner” with a new mirror I found and some old vines and lights, added some positivity inspiring signs, and voila! A new corner to sit and enjoy when I am feeling down.
- Writing practice in my journals! I LOVE JOURNALING and PLANNING! I’ve recently fallen into a funk because my handwriting was getting messier and messier due to a lack of practice… but I decided recently, NO! I let that happen so I need to make time to write and get my feelings onto paper while practicing my penmanship again. I print out cute pictures, loving photos, and quotes to inspire me in my little journals. I put down future plans, short term goals, and daily feelings. I add stickers and plan short tasks and goals to achieve each day… and man does it help with my motivation!
- Baking breads and cooking small meals. This one is a LOT harder to me than it sounds typing out because I am simply almost always out of energy to do this, but even making a sandwich has its perks. 🙂 I cooked a homemade chicken noodle soup the other day and felt SO accomplished!!! Breads though… that’s the real struggle. I can make cinnamon rolls and doughs like any other but … somehow breads are a pain!
- Finding solace in reading the Scriptures every day. I have so many different copies of the Word that I really have no excuse NOT to read, so I ensure that I eat my portion of His word daily. It’s helped me find comfort in some smaller and heavier things that weigh on my mind because they teach me lessons that are refreshed every single day… and I like to try to journal what these lessons mean to me. These kinds of practices help me feel that warmth that I aspire to find in Yah’s heart!
- Cleaning and organizing my space! Kind of inline with the decorating aspect, but clearing out old things that I -never- use anymore and reorganizing my living quarters has really helped me find some sweet peace of mind. 🙂
- CANDLES. It sounds so dumb, but candles have really helped me feel comfort! I looooooooove fall scents and I stumbled into the Bath & Body Works candle sale and grabbed enough candles to last me the season (whoops, thank heavens for coupons and sales!) They’re really good at helping my space feel like my own, and bringing me a sense of calm and collectedness when I am in a place of anxiety.
I have found a handful of things that make me happy. I may make a smaller, light hearted little post about what makes me happy these days… I am not sure yet. But I am trying to write more for you all because I fell off the other month… and I want to share my story with everyone.
September is ovarian cancer awareness month and I want everyone to get themselves checked out as soon as possible and remain up to date on their pelvic exams. Fight for what you believe is right for YOU. I had to advocate for myself for years before they listened to my complaints and took me seriously. Don’t give up! ADVOCATE FOR YOU!
I want to get cozy… I want to get further along in feeling happiness and contentment with my decisions as of late. I am hoping things are turning for the best…. I am hoping they are coming to a calm point in my life. We can only see what happens…. until then, I am waiting for the cool winds and pumpkin patches this season. 🙂